“ Sister Sofiel. It is with a heavy heart that I exile you from this most righteous of orders and send you on a personal crusade of redemption. Your actions have shown that your soul is impure and so, with only your armour and blade, you are herby banished and condemned to live the life of a penitent. Go now and die in whatever fashion your soul deems right.”
Those words still rang in her head even after all these years. To be shunned by her order in such a fashion left her bitter and torn. Were her actions that day so wrong? Pasfael has said that life isn’t so black and white as some in power think and after spending some time in the Inquisitors retinue she could see that. Actions that would be deemed wrong have had the most positive of outcomes, whilst some have just led to more disaster, but surely to do nothing would be the worst action of all. If she did nothing that day thousands would have died instead of hundreds. She sacrificed her sisters and herself to save innocents. The fact that she survived instead was a cruel joke, oh how she wished she had died with her sisters, she should have died there! Then she wouldn’t have to live with this shame.
She buried her head in her hands and flinched when she felt her scares the physical proof of her impurity. She ran her hand over the rough texture of her skin.
“ If you play with it too much you’ll go blind.” Came a metallic voice from behind her.
She turned around to see the savant Formsworth looking at her.
“ What do you want Formsworth?” She asked in a slightly irritated tone.
“ I want for nothing dear lady, I have given up all that I was so I could be all that I am.”
She smiled a little at that. She liked Formsworth, he was gentle and wise and always smelled of ink and parchment, but it was the way he spoke that was most endearing. You always had to look for the hidden meaning in some of the things he said.
“ The sooner you accept that the same as happened to you, the sooner those scars you carry will heal. Your face on the other hand….. Well your stuck with those I’m afraid, but they will become softer to your eyes in time.”
Sofiel nodded and said
“ Pasfael has said the same. Time heals all…. What do yo want though? Has our Lord Gale summoned me?”
“ He has summoned us all my dear sister in grey. We are to discuss our next move and the implications of such actions. I’m afraid this may test us in the extreme.” His metallic voice almost sounded excited. “ Come on. “ He said as he shuffled away trailing parchment as he went.
Sofiel looked down and thought to herself that she is always being tested. How could she heal her broken faith. She considered that maybe, no matter what Pasfael said, she is never meant to. Maybe the Emperor is testing her, but all it feels like is a series of events that have left her lost and split in half. Only when she was slaying did she feel at peace. All thoughts focused on the hate of those she killed and not the shame in her heart.
“ Come on!” Formsworth called “ Sacrifice is expected!”
She took a deep breath and walked out of her quarters it seems there would be no end to the sacrifice. Only in death will duty truly end.